On July 16, 2000 I was baptized and confirmed as a member of The Chruch of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This was one of the best days of my life! I remember where I was baptized, who was there, the gifts I received, the wonderful party with the giant oreo cake we had afterwards, and the fact that I didn't like the way my mom did my hair. In the LDS church, we believe that the proper way to be baptized is by complete immersion in water, as the Savior was. I remember my dad bringing me up out of the water and wrapping me in a tight embrace as tears rolled down his cheeks. We seemed to stand there forever, and I might have been a little embarrassed and anxious to get out of the font. But even more than any of these memories, I remember the amazing feeling of cleanliness, love, and peace that I felt. I now can see the significance of coming out of the water and straight into the arms of my father. My baptism brought me into the full embrace of my Heavenly Father's love and the redeeming power of his son, Jesus Christ. For more about my baptism and why I have chosen to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, follow this link: http://www.mormon.org/me/GXGP
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| My mom's awesome scrapbooking skills at work here... |
Baptism is the first saving ordinance of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When I was baptized, I was showing my willingness to follow in the Savior's footsteps and my desire to return to live with him someday. Through my baptism, I was able to make covenants with God which I must always strive to remember and honor. A covenant is a sacred agreement between God and a person or group of individuals in which God sets the conditions and promises blessings in return. When I was baptized I promised to 1) keep God's commandments, 2) stand as a witness of him, 3) and always remember him. As I stay true to these promises, the Lord blesses me with the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost and a remission of my sins. I am also blessed to renew my baptismal covenants each week as I attend my church meetings and partake of the Sacrament.
Even before my baptism and as I grew in my faith and knowledge of the gospel, an increasingly strong desire to serve a mission took place in my heart. I remember standing in front of a map in the children's primary room with my friend, Malea, talking about where we would someday serve missions. I wanted to go to Spain. I had quite the list mapped out for what I was going to do in my life, when I was going to do it, and no one was going to stop me! I thought I had it all figured out. Then when I was 16 I got cancer, and my perspective changed. Cancer wasn't part of my plan, but I realized that God's plan for me is so much better than anything I could plan for myself. I grew so much closer to the Lord through that experience, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Well, I got better and life went on, but I had learned that even with worthy goals set in place, there was no way I knew what was going to happen. So my goal to serve a mission became more of a "We'll see where I'm at in life when I turn 21 and if it feels right then I'll go." Lot's of things happened and by the time I was 21. The age change for missionaries happened, making 19 the earliest age at which girls could go. I graduated college and got in to a master's program for my dream profession. I was dating a lot of people. I had an awesome job. I was on a roll, but the desire to serve a mission still burned in my heart. I prayed unceasingly, wanting to know if it was the right thing for me to do. But as hard as I prayed, I never felt good about it, and I was bitter. All of my friends and even my little sister were going, but not me. For a look back at how I was feeling at that time, you can read this blog post from 2013. It was a rough time for me, but I felt like the Lord needed my skills, talents, and service right where I was. I decided to try my best to just be happy with that and know that I was just being called to serve a mission in a different way. But I was still a little bitter.
It's almost humorous how things don't turn out the way we think they will. I got kicked out of my graduate program for a low grade after making it half way through. I progressed in the job I was already working in, doing something I loved but had never seen myself doing. I started dating a wonderful man who has made me a better person in so many ways... and all of this felt right... but I knew there was something more.
It was in October 2014 that I was in a sacrament meeting listening to my cousin speak. She was preparing to leave for a mission, and as I sat there listening to her I thought, "Man, I would still really love to go," at this point having felt defeated in my childhood dream. I had more or less accepted the fact that it just wasn't for me. But as I sat there, the thought came to me, "Well, you can if you want to."
... Wait, what???
I felt like I'd been slapped in the face, but in a good way. "I can? I can... I can!" It felt like a door which had been locked to me for so long was finally unlocked, and I could open it if I wanted to. At that point it was a question of if I still wanted to, and after a few weeks of pondering and intense prayer, I knew that it was what I needed to do. I started my mission papers without telling anyone, then announced the news to my family on Christmas Day.
So at this point, what have I learned? I don't know anything. That about sums it up... but this is a blog, so I'll expound.
1) I can serve the Lord anywhere and at any time. My desire to serve as a little girl and the covenants I've made to stand as a witness of Christ, remember him always, and keep his commandments don't have to change one bit depending on how old I am, where I live, or what I'm doing! I will always be able to fulfill my desire to serve. Yes, as a full-time missionary I will wear a badge that lets everyone around me know that I stand as a representative for Jesus Christ, but the badge I wear on my heart will always be what is most important. I donned that badge as an 8 year old little girl, and it's not going anywhere. 2) Again, God's plan for me is so, SO much better than anything I could plan for myself! I thought I'd already learned that lesson, but apparently not. His timing is perfect, and I've realized that trusting God means to trust his timing also. Because I'm going on a mission when he wants me to, I am much better prepared and have more life experience that will help me and the people I teach. I have had the chance to date a man who I love and plan to marry when I come home (thankfully he's more than okay with that). I will be serving in the same mission that my best friend served in not too long ago and she has been able to help me prepare. And it feels right! If all else fails at least I know that I feel right about it!
I cannot express how excited I am to serve as a full-time missionary in the Nevada Las Vegas mission. Do I feel prepared? Not really. But I know that because I am trusting the Lord's timing, he will prepare and qualify me in ways I never could have imagined. He will take care of me always, and he will bless me to always follow the plan he has for me so long as I stay faithful to him and keep the covenants which I have made. I am so ready for this. And I will forever and always continue to fulfill my decision to serve.
Yours Truly, The future Sister Porter
